Day 2

In spite of the major fuck up I did today, I figured I would just ignore it and indulge in my insomnia a bit longer.

Day 2 - My Crush
(this might end up being all over the place)

CG,

I know technically we are beyond the stage of 'crush', but you're the only person I'm fully attracted to and who I would want to be with. You have become one of my most recent highlights even with all the stress taking place in my life. I find myself thinking of you for the majority of the day and wishing to be with you a majority of the night. It was amazing to see you this weekend. Funny thing, I was really nervous picking you up from the airport. I wasn't sure if you had remembered what I looked like and if you would still find me as attractive as when we first re-met. I also get nervous when people watch me drive, so that didn't help calm my nerves driving you home. Although I was nervous at first, you proved to be everything I had anticipated... and more.
I looked into your eyes and I knew. Instantly our lips matched. All awkwardness faded away. I was the first person to notice your brown speck in your green left eye. You make me laugh. You make me care. You make me wonder. I especially enjoy all your nerdy glory... from Stargate to every online computer game you play.
Truth be told... although I maintained pretty strong demeanor while dropping you off at the airport yesterday morning, I literally bawled on the drive back home. I could look at my phone and see your name without feeling a pang of missing you. I wanted to wake up in your arms again, kiss you in the rain again, feel your smile press against mine. My heart felt so empty without you there.
I worry sometimes about this longing for you. If we decide to move forward with our relationship, I sometimes wonder if I can handle all these goodbyes. They will mark our relationship, and probably cause the greatest amount of continual sadness. In spite of all this worry, I truly believe we can make it. I can see us working out and making plans between us. I hope we can give it a legitimately exclusive chance at being in a relationship. I only want to be yours.
I miss you, and I'm happy that in the midst of our distance, I can still imaginatively feel you here. I can't wait to see in in 2 1/2 weeks. California has never felt so good. "BBbbbbbbyyyyyyeee....."

- #1 Kacomforter Katie