"I Am Thinking It's a Sign, That the Freckles in Our Eyes are Mirror Images"

I have trouble believing that everything happens for a reason. Or that fate is the main controller of our lives. Many people believe otherwise, and I think most use it to cushion the pain from whatever went opposite of what they desired. It's a comfort to believe everything happens for a reason. I like to believe that things just happen, without reason, without hope, and at most times, without planning. Everyday choices guide our lives, and it is only in hindsight that we are able to see the strings that tie us to our final outcomes.

I wish I could sneak a peak at myself in 10 years. It'd be cool to see where I am, who I'm with, if there's kids, houses, etc...

One of my biggest fears is that I'll never be able to get over you. I have low expectations for tonight. I have this feeling that you may never choose me again, and as much as we both hate the word never, I can't believe in you choosing me tonight. And it's okay, because above all I want you to be happy, but it kills me to know you are with someone else. And for the sake of your relationship, my sanity, and my heart, I can't live in a world where you aren't mine. We've tried being just friends, but I never stopped loving you, and I'm not sure if I ever can. Forgive me, because I know this is basically an unwritten ultimatum, but I can't be okay without you here.

When I picture you, I only picture us. I've been missing you for so long.

It's funny, I just got off the phone with my friend Mike, and he was playing a few songs on his guitar to keep us entertained. He began to sing "Such Great Heights" and this immense amount of warmth took over me, and I was suddenly brought back to that rooftop you took me to overlooking Miami. I can picture the night sky, the cool air, your hands overlapping mine, and feel the warmth of your body holding me from falling over the edge. I hummed "Such Great Heights" as we swayed in the moonlight. I don't remember if you saw, but I teared up. I had never had anyone treat me so well like you did. I had never had anyone show me so much in such a little amount of time. So I knew when I told you I loved you, I wasn't lying. I was not scared. I wasn't doubtful. And even as our relationship grew, fell apart, and managed to stay around, I always came back to that moment of you holding me as we overlooked the Miami skyline. I think that's why the break-up bewildered me, and probably why to this day I have difficulty letting you go.

But there pops up the idea of fate again, or a reason for us. And as much as I don't necessarily believe in fate, I do believe that there has been some cosmic and magnetic force consistently bringing us together. Lives crossed.

I love you, and I know I will love you for a lifetime.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQIGDyEkngY